This past weekend, I had the pleasure of attending the World Domination Summit in Portland, OR.  It was put on by Chris Guillebeau, author of the book The Art of Non-Conformity (which I highly recommend).  He is also a traveler, blogger, entrepreneur, and someone who just can’t be put in a box.

The World Domination Summit was a mishmash of 500 like-minded artists, bloggers, writers, coaches, speakers, and anyone who wants to or currently is living unconventionally.  A collection of people who challenge the status quo of the regular 9-5 life. 

Here is a list of the speakers and my most important takeaway from each:

Pamela Slim : Amplify your strengths, rather than focus on your weaknesses.

Leo Babauta : Simplify your life to free up time for more of what you really enjoy.

Danielle LaPorte: Take radical responsibility for all of your choices.

Jodi Ettenberg : Go with the flow but keep your eyes open.

Karen Wolrond : We don’t age because time passes.  We age because we stop looking for the wonderful.

Neil Pasricha (via video) : No matter what life brings, always look for the awesome things.

Andrea Scher and Jen Lemen : Always dream big, and make lists of all the amazing things you want in life.

(Andrea and Jen also made me realize that I want a tattoo.)

John T. Unger : Turn disaster into opportunity.  Take the momentum, and turn it around to use it to your advantage.

Jonathan Fields : Take bold, consistent action in the face of uncertainty.

As I was sitting there listening to the last speaker of the weekend, Jonathan Fields, I had a moment in which the following thought hit me:

All of us sitting here are the leaders of tomorrow. 

But it wasn’t a moment of arrogance or power.  It was the culmination of all of the events of the weekend: the conversations with others, the connections, the workshops, the speakers, the dancing, the note-taking, and all of the laughs.  All of us were peers.  No matter where we were on our paths, no matter what people looked like, or how much money we had, how many books we had sold, or how many visitors our blogs had, deep down we all wanted the same thing.  

Very simply, we all just want the freedom to live our own lives, to serve others, and to truly be ourselves, whatever that means to each of us.  A fellow WDS attendee, Dave Ursillo (whom I never had the pleasure to meet), wrote about the speech he never gave at the event: How to Lead Without Followers.  This was exactly the sentiment that had struck me in that moment.  Each of us there (and many more I know who weren’t able to attend) are leaders who don’t need followers.  We want to empower everyone to live their own lives as they see fit; to be their own leader. 

The whole experience was like being in a crowd of 500+ soulmates, which became overwhelming for me at a certain point.  In my normal day-to-day life, it is rare for me to run into someone who doesn’t look at me like I’m insane when I explain my outlook on life.  So going from that to meeting all of these people, each of whom I would love to engage in hours of conversation, put me on sensory overload.  But it was also beautiful and amazing at the same time.  We were all connected.  We had stripped down all of the B.S., the judgement, and the societal expectations of each other.  We were all pulling for each other.  We all understood each other.  Yet we were still uniquely ourselves.

And to me, this was a microcosm of what each of us, as leaders, holds as our vision for the world:

Our duty is to connect the world in the same way we were connected at the World Domination Summit. 

We don’t really want to “dominate” the world in the traditional sense of the word.  We want to connect the world.  What we really want to dominate is ourselves. We want to conquer our beliefs that don’t serve us, and help others to do the same.  We want to conquer the status quo and give each other the freedom to be our authentic selves, no matter what that means to each of us.  This is the only true path to happiness: to follow our instincts, be authentic, and allow others to do the same.  So next year, perhaps we should call it the World Connection Summit.

Yes, I have made the switch to a mostly plant-based diet.  Surprised?  If you don’t know me, there’s nothing to be surprised about.  But if you’ve known me for awhile, you probably are surprised.  I never thought I would become a vegetarian.  Why would I do such a thing?

I have a few reasons, including my health, the environmental impact, and living in line with my values.

1) Health

Like most Americans, I grew up eating a lot of meat. My mom and dad are amazing cooks, so over the years I have enjoyed some tasty meat-based dishes (like lasagna, beef burritos and tacos, super nachos, pepperoni and sausage pizza, homemade bbq burgers) without thinking twice. Not to mention fast food burgers, chicken sandwiches, tacos, and burritos. Since I grew up playing sports and lifting weights, I became a student of sports nutrition and how to build muscle. Everything I read, the culture I was immersed in, stressed PROTEIN! That meant drinking lots of milk, consuming lots of whey protein (milk-based), eggs, and lots of lean chicken, beef and fish. The information I had recommended that I consume between 1 and 1.5 g of protein per pound of body weight. So when I weighed 200 lbs, that meant 200-300g of protein per day!!!

At the same time, I’d also had a lot of digestive problems. I noticed that especially after I ate dinner, it seemed like the food just kind of sat there like a rock in my gut. This would lead to me waking up in the middle of the night with heartburn, which led me to start taking some kind of antacid every night before I went to sleep.

So, I started eating less beef. I cut down on my portion sizes, particularly at dinner. I cut out most dairy products. I continued to cut down on the amount of chicken or fish I ate at dinner. From all of these actions, I noticed positive effects- much less heartburn and digestive issues, losling a little weight, and not feeling so lethargic (especially after dinner). Also, I no longer wanted to ingest all the growth hormones and antibiotics these animals are pumped with.

2) Environmental Impact

Where do I begin? This part upsets me, so I will keep it short and (not-so) sweet. A huge amount of forest area all over the world has been wiped out to make room for grazing lands for cattle. This contributes to global warming because there are now less trees to absorb carbon dioxide. Add to that the nitrous oxide from manure and the methane gas produced (flatulence) by cattle, and you have some serious contributors to global warming. 

3) Living in Line with My Values

I have always been an animal lover. The bottom line is that if I choose to eat meat, I am supporting all of the practices that go into to delivering that meat to my plate. There is far too much of a disconnect for most people when it comes to what they eat and knowing where it comes from. I highly recommend the movies “Fast Food Nation” and “Food, Inc.” to learn more. I choose to no longer support the animal cruelty and torture that is involved with the meat industry. I choose to not view animals as products. They are living beings. I would never go out and kill an animal myself and eat it, so it no longer makes sense to me to eat an animal that someone else killed. That would be like me being against stealing TV’s, but buying a TV that I knew was stolen from someone else. I choose to no longer be a hypocrite, and it feels good to me.

The Experiment

I had tried to go vegetarian a couple other times over the years, but I was never really commited to it, and I never did it properly. This resulted in me being very hungry and not sticking with it for more than a few days.

So back in August, my girlfriend heard about a book called “The Quantum Wellness Cleanse” by Kathy Freston. It’s a 21-day program where you eliminate all meat, dairy, gluten, sugar, caffeine, and alcohol from your diet.  As she started doing it, I wound up eating a lot of the same meals that she did, and I felt pretty good.  The day after she finished her 21 days, I began mine officially. 

What was different this time from other times I tried to go vegetarian?  This time I was fully committed to it, and I also made sure to eat a much wider variety of vegetables, fruits, beans, legumes, seeds, and nuts than I ever had previously.

The Results

The hardest thing for me to give up was caffeine.  I was used to drinking an energy drink almost every day, especially prior to a workout.  So I had headaches for the first few days, but after that, I felt amazing.  I have suffered with migraines since high school, and I’m happy to report that I haven’t had any since my transition. 

Also, I couldn’t believe how great I felt CONSISTENTLY.  No ups and downs, just tons of steady energy throughout the day.  And that was from eating a lot less than I ever had in my life!  I can’t even describe the difference and do it justice.  I used to be fairly moody, and all of that is gone.  I just feel good consistently.  Is that from not ingesting certain substances?  Is that from nourishing my body properly and getting all the nutrients I need?  Or is that from feeling better about the choices I’m making and living in line with my values?  Probably some of each. 

Also, the “protein myth” has been completely debunked in my mind.  I always believed that if I went vegetarian and didn’t get my 200 grams of protein per day that my physique would get mushy.  I’m happy to report that’s not the case.  I have stuck with the same workout plan that I had before my experiment.  I am probably consuming about 60-70 grams of protein per day on average, and I have more muscle now than I did before.  I feel stronger than I did before.  I’ve also lost a few pounds of fat and no longer have any stomach bloat or digestion problems.

Moving Forward

The day that my cleanse ended, I did have a couple slices of pepperoni pizza.  I didn’t feel very good afterwards, and that was the last time I’ve eaten any meat.  I have gone back to eating some cheese here and there, but avoid dairy most of the time.  So I will avoid calling myself vegan, even though I eat vegan about 95% of the time.  Being vegan 100% of the time is much more difficult when you’re on the go as much as I am. 

But I feel great about my choice to go vegetarian.  My body thanks me every day, and I have no doubt that I’ve improved my long-term health.  If for no other reason than your health, I highly recommend giving it a try.  I feel better than I’ve ever felt, and I have no desire to go back to my carnivorous ways. 

Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you tried to make a change in your life, and no matter how badly you wanted it, that you always seem to wind up back in the same place you started?  I believe that it has to do with your identity. Who are you?  More importantly, who do YOU believe you are?  How do you label yourself? 

Let’s say the area of your life that you seem to get nowhere in is losing weight.  You’ve tried countless diets, pills, shakes, and exercise routines.  I believe any of those choices could work for you, and probably have worked for other people.   But what happens when you try?  Maybe you get excited to try your new routine and wind up doing it for a couple of months.  But slowly, your discipline starts to erode.  Your old habits start creeping back into your life, and before you know it, those 20 lbs you lost have all been gained back!  What happened?

What happened is that your mind never changed in the first place.  You tried to force youself into losing weight through action.  But in your mind, you still see yourself as someone who is out of shape.  That’s your identity in your own head.  Do you say these things to yourself or others:

“I’ve been overweight all my life.  That’s just the way I am.”
“My whole family is overweight, so that’s where I got it.”
“I’m just a naturally chubby guy.”
“I’m fat and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Those are fairly mild statements on the surface, but in reality, these are devasting self-imposed limitations.

Here are some other things you may tell yourself:

“I’m ugly.  Nobody would ever want me.  What’s the point of trying?”
“I’m stupid.  I was just born that way.”
“I wish I were born with a special talent like successful people.”
“I’ve failed before and made a complete fool of myself.  I’ll never do that again.”
“I’m just a boring person.  I’m not that fun to be around.”
“Rich people are just lucky.  It must be nice.”

I could go on forever, but the point is that these are not just little statements we make or thoughts we have.  They speak volumes about who we really think we are, and what we think is possible for ourselves.  And that’s the problem- all these actions you’ve been trying to force yourself to take will never stick if you don’t change your mindset first and reinvent yourself FIRST in your own mind.  I can hear the groans already- “Oh, here we go with the positive attitude stuff.  It’s all in your mind.  Yeah whatever.  Tell that to my crappy job and my $10 in the bank!” I’m telling you, your life will never change for the better if you just believe that you are who you are.  You CAN reinvent yourself and make lasting change.  You CAN have the life you really want in every aspect. 

Here’s what you need to do: Break your old patterns of thought.  Change your identity.  Don’t live in the past.   Replace your self-imposed limiting identity.  Change who you are in your mind first, and the right actions will follow and become good habits much more easily. 

For example:

OLD- “I’ve been overweight all my life.  That’s just the way I am.”
NEW- “Yes, I want to lose a few pounds.  But this overweight body is not who I am.  I am a strong and capable person with a whole world of possibilities.  I can achieve whatever I want.  I’m going to lose this weight starting now.”

Again, you may not see a big difference, but I can tell you there is a world of difference in these mindsets.  If you took one person with each of these two mindsets and put them on the same program with all the same tools at their disposal, I can guarantee which one will fail. Don’t tell yourself, ”I’ll believe it when I see it.”  That’s a fatal blow to your dreams.  You have to first believe it, and only then will you be able to see it.

What is it that you really want in your life?  To get back in a bikini for the first time in years?  To start your own business that you’ve been thinking about forever?  To go back to school so you can get that job you really want?  Whatever that goal is for you, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, “How badly do I really want this?” Chances are, if you don’t currently have what you want, you really don’t want it THAT badly.  Your desire just isn’t strong enough.  It just doesn’t mean enough to you, no matter what you say.  Actions speak louder than words.  If your desire were strong enough, you would be doing everything in your power to achieve it. 

For example, let’s say you’re overweight.  Why is that the case?  Most likely it’s because you consume more calories than you burn.  (I heard you just say, “Duh Mike!”)  Well, if you know this in your mind, why have you chosen to do this?  It comes down to all the little decisions you make throughout the day.  It starts when your alarm goes off at 6am (when you’re supposed to go running).  You have a choice of either getting up and going running, or hitting the snooze button and going back to sleep.  It continues when you choose not to prepare a healthy breakfast for yourself and instead just eat a donut or two at work and wash it down with a high-calorie coffee drink.  It continues at lunch when you choose the triple bacon cheeseburger combo with fries and a sugary soda instead of the chicken sandwich, small salad and a diet soda.  I could go on forever, but you get the point. When you REALLY want something badly, you consciously make the right decisions for your life on a consistent basis. 

In every moment, you have a choice.  Choose the option that gets you closer to what you want.  Nobody said it was easy.  Going back to my previous example, when that alarm goes off at 6am, the easy thing to do is to hit the snooze button and rationalize to yourself why you don’t need to go running today.  That’s why most people don’t get up and do it.  The successful person may not feel like running in that moment.  But they know that being in shape is important to them and their health, so they get up and go running anyway.  That’s how badly they want it. 

If being successful at anything were easy, everyone would be successful.  It takes work.  It takes the discipline to make the right choices.  And it takes persistence to just keep going until you get where you want to be.  If you have a bad day, don’t quit.  Make the next moment better.  Make the next day better.   Remember why you’re doing what you’re doing.  Focus on the goal and how great it will feel when you achieve it.  Remember how badly you want it, and just don’t give up!  You WILL get there.

Have you ever had a goal that meant so much to you that you instantly decided to do everything in your power to achieve it?  For example, about a year ago I got really fed up with being out of shape.  I had a lingering injury that kept me from working out like I really wanted to for a couple of years.  I got into bad habits of eating a lot of fast food and having basically zero physical activity.  Well, one night I was watching one of those late-night infomercials for some kind of fitness program, and it got me all riled up!  I was sick of being out of shape.  I decided right then that I needed to get back in shape fast!  Now!

So I immediately got up and wrote out my new workout plan- lifting weights 6 days/week and running 4 days/week.  I also made up a very strict meal plan.  And the next day I exercised and ate as planned.   And the next day.  And the next day.  On Day 4, I woke up so sore and starving that I binged on junk food and laid around all day.   Then I felt sick and sluggish.  By Day 5, I was still sluggish- I didn’t exercise, and I didn’t plan my meals.  So I wound up eating fast food for lunch and dinner, and I was officially “off the wagon” – again.

Does that sound familiar?  Where did I go wrong?  The problem is I tried to erase 3 year’s worth of bad habits overnight.  It was too much of a shock to my system- mentally and physically.  Could I have just “powered through” and willed myself to keep on going?  Possibly.  But the smarter approach would have been to take baby steps… to make an incremental improvement. For example, my first week goals could have been:

1) Jog 2 days this week.
2) Lift light weights 3 days this week.
3) Bring a healthy lunch to work instead of eating fast food.

Then for Week 2:

1) Jog 3 days this week.
2) Lift weights 4 days this week.
3) Cook my own healthy dinner every night.

You can do this with any goal.  Trust me, the all-or-nothing approach can be a killer.  I gave up after a few days because I viewed my situation as a failure.  But I really set myself up for failure.  Had I planned a more gradual change, I would have set myself up for little successes every day that would have eventually amounted to a greater success!

Whatever your goal is, whatever area of your life you want to improve- just do a little more today than you did yesterday.   Lay the proper foundation, and build on it every day.   This is success to me- being better than I was yesterday.  Make it your mantra. “I will be better today than I was yesterday.”  At the end of a week or a month, you will have definitely accomplished something.  Your better habits will begin to take hold, and then you can step it up and challenge yourself even more.  Imagine what you can accomplish in 6 months or a year by taking consistent action. You don’t have to change your whole life overnight.  Just chip away at it a little bit every day.  Make every day a success.  So what are you waiting for?  Get started!

It’s that time again!  Time to make a few grandiose wishes for the upcoming year and hope that they magically come true, right?  What was your New Year’s Resolution last year?  Did you have a few?  Do these sound familiar:

-I’m going to lose weight this year.
-I’m going to get healthy this year.
-I’m going to get rich this year.
-I’m going to find my soulmate this year.
-I’m going to travel this year.

These are all nice things to think about.  And if they were your wishes for this past year, I hope they came to fruition for you. But let’s get serious.  Since I proclaimed myself “The Uplifter”, I gave myself the job of doing whatever it takes to help you along in your journey. Sometimes that means a nice, gentle, rational explanation.  And sometimes it means a swift kick in the butt when you’re stuck. Well, this is butt kickin’ time! No more excuses!  Sitting around with hopes and wishes just won’t cut it anymore.  This is your call to action.  Make 2010 YOUR year to shine!  YOU need to make it happen.  You CAN make it happen.  Repeat after me: “I believe.” “I believe!” (Louder) “I BELIEVE!” (Louder!) “I BELIEVE IN MY OWN POWER!” (Yell it like you mean it!) Doesn’t that feel great?!

OK, now that you’re fired up, let’s get down to business.  Set aside a little time, maybe 30 minutes, to think about what you want your life to be like.  (And don’t tell me you don’t have the time!)  Take a little time to visualize your ideal life, and have fun with it.  In your amazing life in 2010, what are you doing?  Who is around you?  What does it feel like?    After you’ve done that for a bit, what goals do you want to set for yourself for 2010?  Write down at least five.  Here are a few rules to follow:

1) Make them realistic and achievable.
2) Make them specific and measurable.
3) Have a deadline for each to be accomplished.
4) Begin each one with “I will”.

For example:

“I will lower my bodyfat to 10% by June 1st, 2010.”
“I will earn $100,000 from January 1st to December 31st, 2010.”
“I will spend a week in Hawaii in the summer of 2010.”

Then for each goal/resolution, write down 3 action steps that will get you closer to that goal. 

For example:

“I will lower my bodyfat to 10% by June 1st, 2010.”

1- I will run 3 days/week.
2- I will lift weights 3 days/week.
3- In my diet, I will replace all sugary sodas with water.

So five goals, and three action steps per goal.  Title it “My Amazing Life in 2010″.  Type it out, and post it in a place where you will see it everyday.  Post it next to your computer in your home or on your bathroom mirror.  Better yet, frame it and put it next to your bed.  Review this piece of paper every night before you go to bed, and first thing in the morning when you wake up.  This will help to ingrain your goals into your subconscious, and your behaviors will fall in line. 

If you find yourself slipping- get help.  Find a friend to team up with.  Hire a life coach to help you get there.  Commit yourself to do whatever it takes!  Don’t just slip into your old habits. Doing what you’ve always done will get you what you’ve always gotten.  Do something different this time.  Believe in your own power!  Then use that power.  Create the life you deserve.  Make it happen!  Refuse to be the world’s pincushion.  We are not here to simply exist and put up with our surroundings.  We are here to thrive and live a full, joyous, prosperous, abundant life.  Man, I’m fired up! Happy New Year everyone!  Make 2010 your best year yet.

“Locus of control” is a term that was coined in the 1950′s in the psychology community.  It may not grab your attention when you first hear the phrase, but its application is profound.   It basically refers to your belief of whether or not you are in control of the events and circumstances in your own life.  A strong external locus of control means you believe that fate, other people, or luck control your life.  A strong internal locus of control means you believe that your life is basically a result of your own doing. As I am writing this, I am thinking that this should have been the very first topic covered when I started this blog. 

If you don’t believe you are in control of your own life, you aren’t likely to make any changes for the better.  What would be the point in trying to make your life better if you believe that an unforeseen wave will always come out of nowhere to ruin your sandcastle?  I believe that most people are somewhere in the middle on this topic.  Most probably believe that they do have the power of choice when it comes to minor things (like which flavor of ice cream to buy), but it only goes so far and doesn’t apply to making drastic life changes. What about you?  Are you in charge?  Do you believe you have the power to control the direction of your life?  Or do you believe that success is only for the lucky or the “chosen ones”?

Try this simple exercise:

1) Write down one big goal in your life (i.e. dream job, house, relationship).

2) Do you REALLY believe that this is possible for you?

3a) If yes, what’s the next step you can take to get you closer to your goal?

3b) If no, do a little research and find someone who has overcome whatever it is you think is holding you back.  I guarantee you will find that someone in the history of the world has overcome the exact situation you’re in, if not a worse one.  Also, find someone you can talk to who has accomplished the goal you want to accomplish.  Ask for guidance to find out how they did it.

4) Do it! The bottom line is you have to believe in your own power.  You already have the power.  It lies within us all.  The question is, will you choose to use it? If you do believe in your own power, you can go now .  If you don’t, here are a few examples of famous people who believed in their own power and overcame obstacles to achieve their goals:

-Steven Spielberg overcame anxiety and was rejected by the UCLA film school.
-Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team as a sophomore.
-Albert Einstein did not speak until he was four years old and could not read until he was seven years old.
-Dr. Seuss’ first book was rejected by 28 publishers.
-Colonel Sanders, at the age of 65 and living on social security, heard 1009 “no’s” before one restaurant agreed to start selling his chicken.

Do you believe in your own power now?

Are you living the life you really want?  Or is life living you? Do you dread waking up in the morning and going to work? Is every day the same?  Is every week the same?  Are you a slave to everyone else’s needs?  Are you reactive or proactive?  Are you focusing on what’s really important to you in your life every day?  What are you accomplishing?

Sorry to bombard you with all these questions!  But if you want to lead a happy and fulfilled life, you should be making choices throughout the day that are helping you get closer to living the life you really want. The good news is YOU get to create your own life.  YOU get to decide what to do with your time. 

With all of the distractions that are readily available at our fingertips, it can be hard to focus at times. It’s very easy to just get caught up in the comfortable routines of day-to-day life and get stuck in patterns that really don’t serve you.  Let’s say for example that you dream of owning your own business.  That’s what you really want.  So here is your typical weekday schedule, Monday-Friday:

6am- Wake up and get ready for work (a job that you don’t really want)
7am- Commute to work
8am-5pm- Work
5pm- Drive home
6pm- Watch TV
7pm- Prepare/eat dinner
8pm-11pm- Watch TV/phone calls/texting/internet

Now this may be an oversimplified example, but this is a fairly accurate schedule for a lot of people. So if you really want to own your own business, what did you do in this typical day to get you closer to that goal?  If this is your typical day, how much closer are you to that goal after a week?  After a year?  After 5 years? I haven’t even touched the weekend yet.  If you aren’t doing anything to get you closer to your goal during the week, are you helping your cause on Saturday or Sunday?

In the interest of full disclosure, here was my typical weekend as a young adult:

Friday night after work – go out to a bar or club with my friends and drink lots of alcohol

Saturday morning – recover from drinking, wake up between 10am and noon

Saturday afternoon – watch some college football or whatever other sports are on

Saturday night – Repeat Friday night (go out to a bar or club with my friends and drink lots of alcohol)

Sunday – recover from drinking and watch sports all day

Then it’s back to the normal weekday schedule.  And I repeated the same thing week after week, month after month, and year after year.  It’s no wonder I wasn’t happy where I was, which only caused me to further engage in anything just to make me feel good in the moment and distract me from the life I hated, but the life I created.  What a vicious cycle!

Does that sound familiar to any of you?  It doesn’t matter which activities you are engaging in.  Let’s keep it simple.  Just ask yourself: Am I taking any steps toward my goal? I can hear the questions already: “But Mike, aren’t I allowed to have fun?  Does everything I do have to be productive?” Of course you are allowed to have fun, and no, not everything you do has to be productive.  All I’m saying is this: Point A is where you are. Point B is where you want to be. How close is your Point A to your Point B? If you are not where you want to be in any area of you life, you have nobody to blame but yourself. 

The good news is you DO have the power to change things.  It’s called the power of choice.  You have the power to make different choices every day and every moment of your life.  You can get up and turn off your TV, and instead crack open a book on starting your own business.  If your health isn’t where you want it to be, you can make the choice to educate yourself on how to live a healthier lifestyle.  You can make the choice to go for a walk instead of surfing the internet with a sugary soda in hand! Do the best you can with the time you have.  You don’t have to change your whole life in a day.  But if you want to get where you want to go, start making better choices that will take you in the right direction. 

The results won’t come overnight, but your smarter choices will snowball down the path to a happier, more fulfilling life. It’s better to take baby steps down the path you really want to be on than to be running on auto-pilot down a path that you don’t.

There are many different opinions on karma; what it is, how it works, if it’s real or not. Whether or not you believe in some kind of mystical karma is not the point of this article. Here I will be talking about one of my indisputable rules: Always treat people with respect, because you never know who you are talking to.

Case in point… When I was selling advertising for a small local magazine, the office scheduled an appointment for me to meet with the owner of a local pet supply store. So I arrived at my appointment early like I always did (in case of any traffic problems that could make me late), and I sat in my car for about 30 minutes. As I was waiting, I did a little preparation. I looked through the magazine he would advertise in to see if he might have any competition. I looked through issues from other areas to give him ideas for what was working for other like businesses that might work for him as well. I always took pride in not being a very “salesy” salesperson. I wasn’t going to try to sweet-talk him into buying something he didn’t need. I was there to find out if he was advertising his business now, and whether or not I could help his business by bringing in more customers in a cost-effective manner. So, the clock strikes 4:00 and I go in to meet the owner. I ask the girl at the cash register if the owner is in (he shall remain nameless). She kindly says yes and goes to get him. He comes out, looks at me, and here is our conversation:

“Yeah?”

“Hey _____, I’m Mike with _______. You talked to ______ earlier, and he said I’d be coming by?”

“Uh, he said someone would drop something off.” (rudely)

“Oh ok. Well here’s the magazine. I know you’ve advertised with us before. How did it work for you guys last time?”

“I don’t know.” (Then he goes to ask his wife. He comes right back and continues)… “You can put us in it for free.”

As he says that to me, he continues to walk right by me without even looking at me. He goes to help a customer at the cash register. So I stand there off to the side, patiently waiting for him to come back and finish our conversation. Well he never came back. I stood there and looked around the store a little bit, all the while keeping an eye on him to see what he was up to. He went out to the parking lot for a bit, came back in and disappeared to the back of the store, just whatever he could do to avoid me. After about 15 minutes of this nonsense, I walked into the side office where his wife was, and gave her a copy of the magazine with a couple prices and my phone number written on it, and I walked out.

Now I was in sales for about 8 years, so I’ve seen it all. Some people have an aversion to salespeople. I get it. But the total lack of respect for my time and his rudeness really rubbed me the wrong way. If you’re busy, or I came at a bad time, just have the decency to tell me you need to reschedule or you’re just not interested. But treat me with respect.

You may say, “So what? I would have done the same thing. I don’t like salespeople either.” That may be the case. But the moral of the story is this: Always treat people with respect, because you never know who you are talking to. This guy didn’t know anything about me. Here’s what he didn’t know: I love dogs more than anyone I know. My whole family loves dogs and has dogs. I know tons of people that have pets. And when I first walked in the store, I noticed lots of cool gourmet treats that I was thinking about buying for the dogs in my life!  After this experience, do you think I would spend a dollar in this guy’s store?

What if my dogs had loved those treats, and I had become a regular customer for all of my pet supply needs? What if I was so happy with this store that I told everyone I knew about my great experience? What if some of those people became regular customers? What if they told all their friends about their great experience? And then…you get the picture. How many potential customers did he lose by treating just one person badly? How much money did he cost himself by not being open-minded to what I had to say? (Aside from not going with the cost-effective advertising program that I had to offer!) A lot.

Maybe he’s a really nice guy, and he was just having a bad day for whatever reason. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and say that’s the case. I’m the only person he’s EVER been rude to. It still cost him a lot of money. So imagine how much he’s costing himself if he’s rude to even one person per day. What if I were an investor, and I had been looking for a small business to expand into multiple locations? What if I knew people who were investors? (I do.) It all adds up in the end. Even if you don’t believe in karma, you can see that it pays to be nice. Always treat people with respect, because you never know who you are talking to. (or who they know)

It’s very easy to be closed-minded.  It’s very easy to have a rigid identity for yourself, and just believe in all of the values that go along with this identity.  Examples of this are identifying yourself with a political party, race, religion, or whatever “group” you consider yourself to be a part of.

The problem with this is the lack of skepticism that comes along with it.  You don’t need to think for yourself.  You are basically given a list of what to believe and not believe, and that’s it.  If anyone asks you a question, you have nicely pre-packaged answers to regurgitate to them.  If you do dare to disagree with your own group, you risk being ostracized from your own beloved group, so most don’t dare.

Dare to be an individual!  Dare to be open-minded!  Think for yourself.  Ask questions.  Come to your own conclusions.

Being open-minded means being open to new ideas.  It means listening to what others say and respecting where they are coming from and why they think the way they do.  It means admitting that maybe you don’t know it all, and that maybe you can learn something from somebody else. Have you ever noticed that many people find it more important to be right than to solve problems?  They view being wrong as a sign of weakness.  Sometimes finding a solution to a problem requires gathering information on both sides.  Hearing both sides of an issue may result in you changing your mind!  I call that a sign of maturity, not a sign of weakness. 

We grow as people by being open to new information.  Here is an example of the process of hearing new information:

1) Open your mind enough to really listen to the new information without pre-judging what you’re about to hear.

2) Listen.

3) After listening to the new information, decide whether or not any of the information makes sense to you.

4) If any of it does make sense, and you agree with it, you have learned something and grown as a person.

5) If none if it makes sense and you disagree with what you heard, you have still learned something and grown as a person.

6) Either way, you now have a new and improved view of the issue/topic at hand.

It takes courage to be open to new information because it may cause a change in you.  People who are not open to new information are afraid of the change that may result, afraid of admitting the way they used to think is something they no longer agree with- admitting they may have been wrong about something.  But when you are not open to listening to the other side of any issue, you are stifling your own growth.  You are always entitled to change your mind.  Everyone used to believe the world was flat.  Now we all know it isn’t.  That’s OK.  New and better information was discovered on the topic, so the old information was then discarded.  It’s OK to admit, “Yeah I used to think one way.  But now I know better.”  This is how we grow and evolve as people.

Dare to be an individual!  Dare to be open-minded!  Think for yourself.  Ask questions.  Come to your own conclusions. Don’t be a sheep!